Serially lost and Serially found are two sides of the same coin in one’s life. You can lose something! then you can find something and life goes. Somedays you feel like you have everything and you are on top of the world and other days you feel just the opposite. My father always likes to say, ” The sum total of gains and losses in one’s life, balances out eventually.” You come with nothing and you leave with nothing.
Farewells feel like losses at that moment or time in life, but a memory or a recollection is rejuvenating. At times, giving the right momentum to move on, to try and discover another aspect of your life. Just the other day I found a letter, from my friend Agnes. It was only in the last year of school, tenth grade, when we had become the best of friends. Her sense of humor and approach to life was infectious. What I loved most about her was her inclusiveness. She included everybody, her lunch circle must have had atleast a dozen girls on a regular basis, and yet she would invite more people to join. Even, I was a part of her lunch circle a couple times, everyone laughed and joked as they passed their food along for sharing. It felt strange then! but feels perfectly fine now.
After school graduation we still kept in touch, by writing letters to one another. I had no idea, that I would be interested in writing someday, as I was busy focusing on Engineering. This letter written by Agnes, surely surprised me. It was written at 11:30 PM on 11.11.87, about 28 years ago. Her life was very different from mine, while I had had the opportunity of furthering my studies, she had to work. She had written about her work as an office secretary and how after work, she cooked at home, for her father and seven siblings. She had also mentioned that she enjoyed reading and re-reading my letters. So I owed her a quick reply, since she had taken the trouble of writing late at night, even though she was tired.
I didn’t realise it then, but do now, that she was reading my first attempt at free-writing. Thanks to Agnes and her interest in reading my letters, I wrote a letter to her every week, for the next two years. Sometimes, I wrote to her even if I did not get a reply. Thinking of Agnes, also brought back the memory of her wedding. I had gone to her house a little before her wedding. It had given me a glimpse into her life, she was the oldest sibling. Even on the day of her wedding, she was resolving conflicts; helping her sister with her hairdo, cajoling another one to have breakfast, while smiling at me, as if to re-assure me that everything was fine, all of this while she was wearing her bridal dress.
She walked down aisle, the prettiest bride ever with the sweetest smile on her face. All of us; her friends were present more than a few dozen of us. We had all gathered to celebrate her wedding. It was all very exciting for us; she was the first one of us to get married. And, that was the last time I saw Agnes. I never saw her again, our letter exchanges got scarce, as her responsibilities increased. I remember a couple phone calls here and there. But I am so glad to have this letter. A memory of a time when we had fun at school. The new school, that had felt like a different world altogether. It had taken me so long to find a friend like Agnes. I am so glad, I found her. Even though, I know I can never ever tell her that. I never did and never can because she left this world rather abruptly…
Copyright ©2015 Ish Kaur. All rights reserved.